Wait.

man, i remember this time. (from 2008) and the words that flowed from my heart. this was a great season.

"He is able to do immeasurably more that all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us". -Ephesians 3:20



Desperately, helplessly, longingly i cried:
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.

I pled and i wept for a clue to my fate,
and the Master so gently said "Child you must wait".

"Wait? You say wait!" my indignant reply.
"Lord i need answers, i need to know why!
Is your hand shortened or have you not heard?
By faith i have asked, i am claiming your Word.

My future and all to which i can relate
Hangs in the balance and YOU tell me to WAIT?
Im needed "yes", a go-ahead sign,
Or even a "no" to which i can resign

And Lord, you promised that if we believe
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord ive been asking and this is my cry:
Im weary of asking, i need a reply!"

Then quietly, softly, i learned of my fate
As my Master replied once again, "you must wait".

So i slumped in my chair, defeated and taut
And grumbled to God, "So im waiting...for what?"

He seemed then to kneel and His eyes wept with mine,
And He tenderly said, "i could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause the mountains to run.

All yuo seek, i could give, and pleased you would be.
You would have what you want-But you wouldnt know Me.

Youd not know the depth of My love for each saint;
Youd not know the power i give to the faint;
Youd not learn to see through the clouds of despair;
Youd not learn to trust just by knowing Im there.

Youd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence were all you could see.
Youd never experience the fullness of love
As the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove;
Youd know that i give and save.... (for a start)
But youd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

The glow of my comfort late in the night,
The faith that i give when you walk without sight,
The depth thats beyond getting what you asked
Of and infinite God, who makes what you have LAST.

Youd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that "My grace is sufficient for thee".
Yes, your dreams for your loved one overnight would come true,
But Oh, the Loss! If i lost what im doing in you!

So, be silent, My child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to get to know Me.
And though oft' may My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still, "Wait".

-Anonymous





I am definitely one of those people that is extremely impatient. I get frustrated on the road and want to get everywhere fast but most of all i want to know what i am supposed to do with my life. I never ask for patience because i know then God will make me wait.

It has become even more evident in my life in the past year or so how impatient i am about the future. I am constantly searching for answers about the type of ministry God is calling me to. I love to love and serve people, i love children, i love coffee and books and singing and art and Jesus. But that doesnt exactly narrow it down.

What am i passionate about? What gifts should i utilize for Gods kingdom? Am i ultimately doing what God is calling me to do? And who am i to say i know what i am supposed to do? Ive been trying to use discernment between Gods voice and my own.

So many of us have been enveloped and sucked in to society's view that we must live this fast-paced stressful life in order to have what we want. In order to have the car and the house and degree and the job. We are constantly told to go to college and take out loans and go into debt and graduate and get on with the rest of our lives. But all these are just lies.

God calls for us to be uncomfortable, NOT overwhelmed.

That is all i have ever been. Overwhelmed.
I do too much and i want to help too many people.
Am i seriously forwarding the kingdom if i have no time for myself and my quiet time and spend more time with people and in all the ministries i am involved in? Am i doing a thing for Christ if i am constantly bombarded with thoughts about my future and what i am supposed to do while being so swamped by what i am doing now?


We simply need to slow down.
Stop asking for an answer to our future because God knows
He knows we want an answer and he has one.
Its just all in his time.





Lord, help me slow down. help me wait. and wait patiently.
Grab hold of my heart and say Child i have a plan for you. There is no need to worry about it right now. Calm my heart that wants to jump out of my chest and scream "what do you want me to do!?" and help me listen to your voice when you choose to give me an answer.

this was good. good season of learning what it means to slow down.

thank you Papa.

another old one... hoping to have this same mindset as the new semester begins.

i no longer want to go through a semester without knowing at least five faces in every class,
i want make friends there, witness to those and make the friendships last.
i no longer want to walk in feeling free,
and leave the classroom knowing a lot of those people will never be.
i no longer want to pretend i am praying,
the prayer i say i pray for all those who are simply just waiting.
i no longer want to sit knowing the person next to me isnt in the kingdom,
but rather i want to bring them in with rejoicing and singing.

because what if every class was a glimpse of what was to come?
what if i reached every teacher, every student, everyone?

then the campus would be bursting at the seams simply awaiting,
the kingdom of heaven to victoriously keep raining.

so Jesus would come down and reclaim all of the campus,
and i wouldnt have to worry if the people next to me in class would be in heaven with us.

i want to steal away all the brokenness and shame,
and replace it with joy and love, all in Jesus name.

so God place my heart on my face, so people can see your love,
knowing that my life's dreams and happiness come from above.

grab the souls of all the people at KSU,
draw them gently, lovingly, joyfully back to you.

draw them to you, through your servant daughter,
and bring down the kingdom, come down Abba Father!



"A merry heart does good like a medicine; but a broken spirit dries the bones."
Proverbs 17:22

let your love be the medicine to heal the campus and let me be the nurse that ministers Lord!

"The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field." Matthew 9:37

let me be your worker and labor for your glory. the harvest is here! use me Lord!

and another old one...

“To be nobody but yourself in a world that’s doing its best to make you somebody else,is to fight the hardest battle you are ever going to fight. Never stop fighting.” - E.E. Cummings


we are His. and he keeps us as His. as His unique, beautiful creations.

i am unique.
i am free.
i am His.
i am me.



be you.
be free.

re-posting this from a long time ago...

friends, i encourage you to take this note as an opportunity to do a short sort of biblestudy with the Lord. start by asking Him to come into your time with Him right now. invite Him in.

Think to God. Re-center on Him so you may be with Him. We are inseperable to him, ask Him to come to your heart right now and consume all the things that hinder your love for Him. ask Him to penetrate every part of your heart.

Try saying, "Lord, make your heart known to me, bind up all the things that steal my time away from you and your love, you are a high priest whose name is love, so let your love replace all else right now. Draw me near to you Lord, draw me closer than ever before, call my name. dwell richly inside of me, touch me, whisper your name to me, lay your hand on me in love, Amen"


to better understand His love we must recognize that He created relational beings.He did not create us just to live but to commune with Him and be with him. He craved a beloved. We were meant to be lovers. You were made by a relational God for a divine relationship with Him. He is the ONE. The relationship/love that will fulfill you is the one with Him. We are the bride of Christ.

Misty Edwards has a song called baptize my heart that simply says, "God is a lover, looking for a lover, he fashioned me, he formed my heart"

Love is birthed inside of us because God loves us. He wants to KNOW us. We must have a profound dissatisfaction with simple love. We need to crave deep intimate love with the Father. God has undying jealousy for us. Love is made complete in us. We must develop a healthy consistency in a relationship with the one who gave His all for our nothing.

Strong love. Pure love. Deep love. Insane love.
The more we see you, the more we love you.

Our Father chooses to love us. Chooses to be with us. Chooses to delight in us. How powerful is that???

“the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning, great is your faithfulness. ‘the Lord is my portion’ says my soul, therefore I will hope in Him’. The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks Him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord” –Lamentations 3:22-26

“or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says ‘he yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us….draw near to God and he will draw near to you.”? –James 4:5,8

our destiny is to be with Christ, to be in love.
Take advantage of the time we have with Him. The relationship. Love more purely. When you are seeking the Lord through love there is the kingdom in your eyes.
“we are never nearer to Christ than when we find ourselves lost in a holy amazement at his unspeakable love” –John Owens

“when we love God we naturally run to Him, frequently and zealously” (Isaiah 40:22-24)

The Lord longs for us to respond to Him with love expressed throughout our lives. Reverent intimacy. More song lyrics- “Its just you and me here now. Only you and me here now. My love”
Our love for Him comes out of his love for us. (Philippians 3:10)
Let us be obsessed (excessively occupied with a single topic) with the Lord.
Be transparent. Be vulnerable. Be raw! We need to be way out in deep water with the Lord.

“ see what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God and so we are” -1 John 3:1
“in this is love, not that we have loved God but that He loved us and sent His son to be the propriation for our sins” -1 John 4:10

Colossians 2:
Abound in thanksgiving. You are filled with Him. God made us alive together through his brutal death on a cross. Nailed/ beaten/bruised.
“the most important commandment is this….Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength” –Mark 12:29-30

Jesus’ mission on earth was to establish a new covenant based on love. He was sent to fulfill the early covenant by changing it to a covenant of love rather than rules and regulations. He doesn’t make us love him, he offers his love to us. We must realize how great his love is. He is not one who only gives 20% when you give 80%. He is a 200% fully involved lover.

Our normal reality should be walking and talking with God asking for His love. “search me, know me God” David knows that the Lord already knows but he wants to be pursued even more.
James was known for wearing holes in the ground because he spent so much time in prayer and intimacy with the Lord.
Paul wrote to the Philippians- “my brothers whom I love and long for, my joy and my crown, stand firm in the Lord, my beloved”

Love him tenderly as he loves us. He is more than agape/intimate love.
Rest and breathe him in. walk in his love and glory. Have faithfulness.
Lean into Him. Let intimacy develop. Develop TRUE intimacy. Love Him.
Psalm 62:8- “pour out your heart before Him”
Psalm 62:12- “that to you O Lord belongs steadfast love”
Let us be vulnerable. Unconditional love.

True and honest. Worthy and noble. Just and right. Pure and holy. Lovely and beautiful.

As our intimacy with God increases our hearts prayerfully consider and care for the world and non-believers more.


Some Prayers for us:
"Let us love you more than ever before to make up for the heartache that your children have caused you. We have for so long betrayed and broken your heart for selfish reasons. We are a broken humanity for toying with our creator and our lovers heart. You are our greatest lover. We should long to be with you, to be intimate with you. You are our greatest lover, though you deserve better. You are the most gracious lover of all yet we continue to neglect you. Forgive us."
"Let us understand your immense deep love for us so that we may better serve you and your broken children. We long to bring you more lovers. Let us love like you love. Let us be the tangible love that people need. Let my face read “lover” when people see me so that they may come looking to experience and receive your love and the truth about your love through me."
"Your love for world and your children is so ridiculous that we cannot imagine or even grasp it. Why would you choose to love your betrayer? Why would you choose to bless us? You are too kind to a people who are too ungrateful and unloving. Im sorry for ever breaking your heart. Help us experience you in a way that makes us long to never break your heart ever again. Let us all be one less brokenheart for you. Let us use your love to speak to the nations!"
Teach us how to love like you.

“with God as my witness, how I yearn for you with all my affection of Christ Jesus” – Philippians 1:8

If any of us have experienced the pain of a broken heart or a broken relationship imagine how God must feel when we pierce Him everyday. We must be ridiculously in love with the Lord always. He is greater than any other lover. WALK IN LOVE!
“ (he) gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice” –Eph 5:2
the passion of Christ Jesus is stirring me to love you!
Lets get BLASTED with Love!!!
YOU ARE ENOUGH LORD.
love is the greatest thing God has given to us and it’s the greatest thing we can give in return.

The biggest thing:

Ephesians 3:
that we may grasp his love for us.


and the last thing to do is:
close your eyes.
focus yourself on imagining the deepest parts of His love for us.
imagine His love in all its fullness and glory.

now think.....its MORE than that


Let the Lord cover you in love.
Be intimate with Him.
ask Him to call your name.
His is the greatest lover of all.

Jesus Camp Movie.

Has anybody seen this?

I think the tactics of training these young people may be a little different than what the world is into. Id like to watch and come to my own conclusions. The body of Christ is surely raising up inside these students and they are ready to become a generation of change. but are they taught to do so in a peaceful manner? and how much of hearing from the Holy Spirit is involved? Ill watch and see.