im in this season of my life where i am longing for actuality. i no longer want to feel like the things i aspire to do are just a mere possibility. i want to embrace the gifts i have in order to use them to do the things i am craving in my soul to do.
i honestly didnt think i would ever get to this point of consistency in my life. like a consistency of colors throughout my apartment i have become consistent with my walk with Christ and with the number of things i am involved in. now im wondering if consistency was the right word to use. all i know is that i have become so content with being a part of things that i love and being consistent in the work that i do inside those things. i am immersing myself in things that bring light to what ive recently begun to call the "present day kingdom". i am embracing the Christ that i know now and am trying so very much to bring that person out so that those that do not know Him might have a chance to grab on to something so tangible and real, more than they've ever experienced before. so that they might have a chance to develop a healthy consistency in a relationship with the one who gave His
all for our
nothing.
the only downside to consistency is that i long to break out of that and bring life to the dreams i hav within those things i am involved in and within my very soul. i have this intense want to be a public speaker. to experience some intense encounters with the Lord like i have been blessed to experience lately and share those things with men and women all ove
r the world so that they might find a little joy in the life they live. a little comfort. a little reassurance that the God of the universe is working through them. i want to share my own personal experiences as a normal teenager, college student, daughter, and friend, as well as those experiences that ive had that could have only happened through Christ. i want to invite my fellow brothers and sisters into something so extreme that they must beleive that theyve experienced it only through Christ.
i want to sing. and sing well.
i want to speak and have the Lord speak through me. and have the words be so powerful that the people listening could only beleive my words came from the Father.
i want to paint. and collage. and create.
i want to be a living canvas for all to see. for everyone to glimpse at my skin and see a reflection of the painter. for those people then, to look back at their own reflection seeing the majesty that is within them that was created uniquely by God. i want my colors to run together into a perfect mix of emotions: joy, sadness, love, triumph, glory. i want my colors to be clear. i want my colors to bring life. i want my canvas to reflect not my soul and my heart but the one who created me. the one who made me unique. i want the art i imagine within myself and that i create to be just a glimpse of the art that I AM and that YOU ARE. because we are living art. art that is displayed for the world to see. and our Father is the most talented artist. he created the universe and the places we call home, but more importantly he created himself (the spirit), with skin on, with a mind, soul, and heart. that meaning he created us. and we are the most beautiful paintings of all. let me be an appropriate depiction of the art he meant to awe the world.
